Sometime’s It’s Hard

Ciao and Sacred Sunday to you:
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how for so many years of my life I made up stories in my head regarding well…myself, my family, other people, the circumstances in my life…
I think you get the picture.
And I have to be honest, often those stories were not pretty. In fact, so many of them were pure BS!
The stories that were the most detrimental were the tales I told, about Moi.
Long ago a friend shared with me an Alcoholics Anonymous meme, “your mind is like a dangerous neighborhood. Never go in there alone.”
It took me years to unpack its deeper meaning.
The thing is the danger to be aware of, that lurks in the corners of your mind, are the untruths that you’ve taken on as facts that block you from the source of your internal truth and power.
✅The limiting belief that tells you you’re too old to be the leader you know you’re here to be
✅The unconscious BS tapes that run in your brain repeating “who do you think you are to believe you have something valuable to share?”
✅The illusion that you are separate from the whole and what you say and do doesn’t matter because you’re not as brilliant as – fill in the blank
✅The part of your primitive brain that seeks to run away out of fear from trying again for that imperfect but loving relationship you so desire
Believe me, I get it. I’ve been there. And truth, I can still get lost in those winding alleyways.
That’s why I have dear friends, and I work with a trusted coach, who helps me shine the light of awareness into the murky corners of my mind where my gremlins like to hide out.
Sometimes it’s hard
Sometimes I uncover parts of me that I’ve long ago buried so why the hell do I want them out and about now
Sometimes it hurts
Sometimes my little girl resists kicking and screaming
And yet always, ALWAYS, when I’m brave enough, I learn that it wasn’t the boogey man chasing me after all…it was the pieces and parts of me that I rejected.
Turned my back on because I thought she was ugly, unlovable, unworthy.
Yes well, sometimes I screwed up.
Sometimes I acted inappropriately
Sometimes I was a bitch, and damn was she ugly
Who wouldn’t want to pretend she never existed?
Do you ever feel like that?
Are you ever afraid to befriend those parts of you that aren’t so polished and pretty?

The truth is, it’s our job to re-member ourselves.
If not, we live disconnected from our Essential Core and never truly own our Brilliance.
It’s our job to learn how to integrate, assimilate and turn our shadows into our super-powers.
That’s alignment.
And you know what, when we learn to do that, we can do anything!

With love and appreciation, xoxo Paulette

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